Turn back to move forward

Yesterday, I turned back and realized that I've been putting this blog aside for so long and I'm deeply sorry for that, truly truly sorry. Sorry to my own self that I did't capture what I've went through in the time of silence. A silent blog doesn't mean a silent life that I'm currently having. In fact, not even close. Numerous things happened around me one after another that to be able to sit down and think of a line or two to put up on this blog - they all had seemed impossible. But I wish to write the remarkable moments later on. Oh how I really wish I could manage my time for that. I have to admit that deep down I'm actually wrecked inside out. I'm just another person, another girl with brittle heart and inexpensive tears just like any other ordinary human being who would have given up without His support.

Uhh well, to let you know that the same lame excuse I use for the long leaving is 'busy'! But in fact, was busying facebooking..! Oh, how much I've wasted my precious time and life on that. Hm believe me or not.. Actually I'm always thinking of deactivating my fb account..but ironically every time I really want to act on it, I came across somethings that are beneficial and useful for me, for my knowledge.. be it the motivational/informative status update by my friends, their birthdays, or the links, notes, and videos that they shared. And it somehow has diminished my decision to quit facebook. Now I want to control my time for facebooking.. and start to jot down my experience along the journey on this beautiful world of His. Know what? I even do set a new 'motto' for me -"less facebooking, more blogging". I surprise myself for things I've taken for granted. Oh Allah, please forgive me and grant me the wisdom to use this valuable time wisely. Ameen.

Just to share Wardina's tweet:

I just want the strength for me to use my "time" wisely with Allah in my heart constantly... Ameen. That's my wish for all of you too... Subhanallah

Ameen. Oh, Wardina's words are sooo sweet, always. As sweet as her :)

And, I'd love to remind my own self of Surah al-Mukminun, ayat 1-3:

Successful indeed are the believers [1]

Who are humble in their prayers [2]

And who keep aloof from what is vain [3]

Astaghfirullah..Ighfirly ya Rabbi.

The End

My big love

Seorang kawan post video 'Di Pondok Kecil (Ae Man Feat Bazli UNIC)' di facebook. Lagu masa tadika di taski al-hilal dulu...

Sedih je lagu ni,..jadi ingat ayah, ma kat rumah.

Tiada apa yang aku minta ya Allah.. yang utama sekarang ialah doaku dan harapanku supaya aku sempat berjasa kepada kedua ibubapaku ketika hayat mereka.. Takkan terbalas egala jasa mereka mulai dari dalam perut ma lagi, sampai setua ini. Sungguh banyak pengorbanan ayah.. yang paling tak dapat dilupakan masa nak pergi interview MARA untuk biasiswa tajaan belajar di luar negara setelah SPM keluar tahun 2003 dulu..

Petang tadi pula masa tengah bawa motor, tiba-tiba ternyanyi lagu dari Aeman, lagu ini, antaranya

"Terima kasih ibu, terima kasih duhai ayah..

Salam sayang ayah dan ibu

Mendidikku tak pernah jemu

Halalkanlah makan minumku

Maafkanlah salah silapku

Tanpa maaf dan juga restu

Hidupku jadi tak menentu..

Tiada yang lebih bernilai,

Dari pengorbanan yang suci itu

Tak terdaya aku membalasnya

Moga kujadi anak yang bertaqwa."

Allah,...takkan mampu aku membalas jasa2 mereka.... mau jadi anak yang baik untuk ma ayah.. tapi dunia memang penuh pancaroba. maafkan ngah,, ma ayah. kalau tak menjadi anak yg baik. semoga teman-teman berani menegur dan mengingatkan diri ini ketika lalai.. aku hanya manusia biasa..

Ya Allah, pintaku jangan Kau hukum ibubapaku atas segala dosa-dosaku.

Ya Allah, hanya padaMu aku meminta, benar-benar aku berharap agar aku dapat berjasa kepada ibubapaku sementara mereka masih ada. Berikanlah aku kesempatan untuk membalasnya...sungguh aku amat mencintai mereka.

pesanan buat diri, belajar bersungguh-sungguh!