Afraid to read....

[a song by Dawud Wharnsby]

How many words she’s read before,
she’s consumed two thousand books or more.
Musty pulp and glue soundproof her tiny room.
She cannot understand why this book in her hand
fascinates her now so much that she’s almost shy to touch.
“Don’t think about the words it’s just a book - paper and ink”
She reaffirms, remind herself,
“a book can’t dictate what to think.”
It invites, intrigues her more than others on her shelf
“Is it just another book?” - she sits questioning herself.

Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read,
the wisdom that’s revealed may burrow in her mind
She’ll be obliged to admit,She’ll be obliged to submit
But will she be strong enough to live the truth she finds?
Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read.

The hall light is always on every night that he is gone.
He hears his mother toss in bed when he slips in at dawn.
In the book case by the stair, he can see it sitting there
like a waiting watchful wise-man scolding him with care.
In the morning will they fight about him being out all night?
Will he resent their gift of love and not admit that they are right?
All he wants is to fit in some place, but must he compromise his faith?

He can’t look himself or his parents in the face.
He takes the book upstairs unread and sets it closed next to his head
then counts the prayers he’s missed and lays so hopelessly in bed.
Oh Allah, he’s so afraid to read,
the wisdom that’s revealed may burrow in his mind
He’ll be obliged to admit,
He’ll be obliged to submit
But will he be strong enough to live the truth he finds?
Oh Allah, he’s so afraid to read.

I sent an email to my loved one, just the other day
It’s sad communication has evolved this way.
We use so many words but have so little to relay
as angels scribble down every letter that we say.
All the viral attachments sent and passionate insults we vent
It’s easy to be arrogant behind user passwords we invent.
But on the day the scrolls are laid, with every word and deed displayed,
when we read our accounts, I know, for one, I’ll be afraid.
That day I’ll be so afraid to read,

every harsh word that I’ve spoken - and every time I have lied.
I’ll be obliged to admit,
I’ll be obliged to submit
Will I have strength owning up to each deed I’ve tried to hide?
Oh Allah, I’m so afraid to read.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When I heard this song for the first time, I can’t catch the meaning in each sentence.. what does it wants to say actually.. since I didn’t have the lyric.. so I wondered why the girl and the boy in the song were so afraid to read…
What are they reading??
Why they are so afraid to read??
One day, a friend of mine gave me the lyric of the song. I scrutinized the sentences and tried to interpret the meaning it tries to convey.. finally I got it!
It's about a book that people always forgetting. In fact, the book is always be with us anywhere we go.. Either when we are alone in the room, toilet, or at public places like restaurant, classroom, in meeting, etc.. In short, the book is like part of our body that we cannot see.



********************************WHAT IS THE BOOK?? *******************************





It is SIJJIN and `ILLIYYIN..

"..Surely the record of the wicked is (preserved) in Sijjin. And what will explain to thee what Sijjin is? (There is) a Register (fully) inscribed." [QS al-Mutaffifin 83: 7 -9]

"...verily the record of the Righteous is (preserved) in 'Illiyin. And what will explain to thee what 'Illiyun is? (There is) a Register (fully) inscribed,.." [QS al-Mutaffifin 83: 18-20]

Imagine that we are sitting while reading the book of our deeds.. our record book. We must have a variety of negative feelings like fear, anxiety, feel of crying, and so forth.. and while totalled up on the amount of our good deeds that can qualify us to enter His Jannah (Heaven).. what a relief if we could save ourselves and steer clear of God’s punishments.. but on the other hand, if the bad deeds weigh a ton than our good deeds, then the Hell is waiting for us.. (Na’uzubillah)..To Allah do we ask protection.. stay us away from Your burning Fuel..

That book is the only book that records every detail of our deeds, from we baligh until the last breath! Each words and actions, anything that we saw and heard, what we did, and everything… everything that relates to our lives on Allah’s earth, will be recorded in the book. No single thing could escape from it. Masya-Allah!

And the book of our records that contain all of the recorded deeds will be revealed on the Day of the Judgment in front of the entire human beings started from the Prophet of Adam.. It's very shameful, if we did a lot of evil deeds.. die to shame!
Shame to ALLAH, to His Angels, and to other human beings… it is not yet dissecting and questioning each of our deeds that we have done...so many..astaghfirullah..

We seek forgiveness of Allah and we turn (repentant) to You . Grant us Your rahmah (mercy) and shafa’at (intercede)...

-a reminder to myself as well..
a sharing for reminding each other :)


p/s: since my honest and trustworthy 'visitors tracker' showed that they come from all over the globe..and unfortunately most of my older entries were in Malay language, so I've translated this entry from its original one at < Maesarah Arwani > hope they will benefit something from this page, bi iznillah.. even with this poor English huh.. [plus to refresh my English that seems to rust... :/ ]


-takut.insaf.takuutt..mengingatkan kematian dan buku catatan sijjin & 'illiyyin saya.. ighfirly ya Allah.. ana faqir wa dho'if ilaika.. astaghfirullahal'aziim...




Allahua'alam.